| i'm worthless... |
[05 Mar 2009|10:03pm] |
congrats...you managed to make a depressed person feel bad about herself. You must be proud...
...and I gave you so much I can never get back. I never wanted to....until now....now i just wish i could take it all back...
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| suck |
[15 Jan 2009|04:15am] |
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mood |
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 shit |
] |
this sucks. I'm so friggin miserable. god i hate being depressed. and everything around just isn't helping...
...ugh, i dont even have the energy to rant.
fuck it
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| Anberlin! |
[09 Jul 2008|10:31pm] |
Hello everyone voting has now begun for all of the cities on the Warped tour. If you want to see us play 10 minutes longer head over to the site and vote.
Also don't forget to sign up to be our fan on our own pickRset page
Click here to PICK THE BANDS that you want to have play 10 minutes longer on Warped.
You will need to register for a FREE pickRset account to vote. Make sure to check your junkmail incase your confirmation does not come through.
You can register HERE.
Thanks so much for all of your support.
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| gasoline |
[09 May 2008|06:09pm] |
so i got yelled at the other day for burning bridges. my response, i don't start the fire, but I do fuel the blaze. If someone decides to be a bitch/whore/ass/ect, I will gladly hold the threat tight so they can cut the ties. All I know is, anyone who treats you like shit isn't worth your time. I lost 2 people I thought were good friends to this, but I've made so many more that I don't feel a loss. Rachael, Jessi, and I are scary together, and now I have Jon back, which means Will too and he's friggin cool. The only problem is every time someone is a bitch, the feud puts strain on Steve who is hardcore crazy awesome no matter what. No matter. I have officially completed my BA in Criminal Justice and my track in Forensic Psychology, and by December I'll be a full scale over achiever, with a Psychology degree to prove it. Grad school comes next, and summer '09 will hopefully bring with it an internship with the FBI.
And this summer, though stressful, is gonna kick ass. Living with Jamie, Matt (OC), and Amy in Brigantine as soon as they find a house. Friggin awesome.
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| FUCK |
[01 Mar 2008|02:59am] |
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mood |
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gloom |
] |
...yeah...I think thats about it...
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| 5 psych's to go...wtf?! |
[07 Jan 2008|11:00pm] |
If I feel like being an over-achiever, I can get 2 degrees in the next year, criminal justice and psychology...
...yeah I don't really know how I went from 'not gonna graduate on time' to 'and extra semester will get me a 2nd degree'. The world of college is twisted and confusing...fuck it, my brain hurts
TO THE XBOX!
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| holy crap |
[23 Dec 2007|12:31am] |
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mood |
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 squee! |
] |
saw Sweeny Todd...holy crap. That movie is like the bastard child of Tim Burton and Jhonen Vasquez. In other words, it was an amazing piece of twisted film genius. I may have to find a copy of the play just to site the differences, but it was phenomenal. I don't even know what else to say. People left during the movie because it was...very bloody, but of course Jessi and I laughed hysterically through the movie. The end is kinda twisted, but its to be expected. If you like strange, disturbing, evil things, this movie is for you.
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| don't even ask |
[20 Dec 2007|05:37pm] |
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mood |
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 eh |
] |
I don't know why the hell I'm even on here, but no one is around so I gotta talk to someone...
I had to miss Anberlin in November because I double booked my weekend like a moron. Instead, I ended up at a fund raiser for my cousin who had lukemia. The total suck part is that within 2 or 3 weeks he passed away. I wasn't really sad about it, but I felt awful for his grandmother and his aunt and uncle because I love them all. As for the concert, apparently Hannah Montana's brother's band opened for them and everyone was 12. Jessi got chunks of flesh ripped from her arm by little bitches and their nails, and Steve got kicked in the face by a crowd surfer. For a while we thought it was broken and we had senior pictures on tuesday/wednesday. It wasn't, I put makeup on him to cover the black and blue though so he looked fine in the pictures.
Life is insane. School made me basically want to die or vomit at every possible occasion. I worked more this past semester than all others put together. It was like my teachers decided senior year is a good time to start, like "here you go! have fun" and just dropped shit in my lap. Miraculously...and I really mean that...I got a 4.0 this semester. After all the nights with 2 hours of sleep, the occasional tearing out of hair, and feeling like I was going to get lower than a C in my senior seminar...I got my first 4.0 ever. Kirsten decides that this is a good point to bring to my attention that another 4.0 would make me graduate with honors, which would be friggin sweet after the Calc II D and the several Cs along the way.
Anyway, now I'm home, but a week or so before I got here, Jessi texted me so let me know they had to put Yoshi to sleep. I was sad, but I didn't cry. I was more upset that I couldn't be there for Jessi knowing that she would be so upset. It finally hit me about a week later. Steve, Rachael, Kirsten, and I were in the disney store at the mall, and I picked up the big $100 Pluto and started pawing at Steve with it. Suddenly I had a flash back of Yoshi sitting next to the couch, pawing at your leg to get you to pet her. Needless to say I dropped Pluto, grabbed a poor confused Steve and started to cry. So here I am, walking through the mall, bursting into the occasional bout of tears, clinging to Steve like my life depended on it. After about 15 minutes it stopped and I felt better, like I had finally mourned her. I still get sad thinking about it, especially since I went to Jessi's yesterday. It felt so empty with only 2 dogs. Oh, and Molly is senile as hell, and still looks like a Black sheep, but she's doing fine. Leia ate a pound of Gertrude Hawk chocolate the other day (Jessi's sister left it out in her room and didn't close the door. the R.S. heart chocolates Leia ate last time were her's too) and was puking for the rest of the day. She wasn't allowed to eat or drink for 12 hours (after she had already drank and puked up a ton of water), so she parked herself in front of the bathroom door and whined to be let in. Freak dog.
Steve graduated last sunday, so now he is part of the real world. I dread graduation day, because then I have to come back here full time. I'm most likely going to be at grad school in the city so I'll be commuting back and forth. I need to save up for a laptop just to make my life easier then, but I refuse to go half-ass so I need to save up about $1600. It hurts. Especially after I just dropped $7500 into new transportation.
Which brings me to my next point. I got a new car! I am the proud owner of a 2004 Mazda 3, with everything in it! It actually cost my parents $14,000, but my mom helped, so I have $4000 in loans left, which apparently I also will be helped with. Friggin awesome. I love it, it drives like a dream, oh yeah, and the sunfire barely made it home. It started to crap out on me, I don't know why, but now it lives at my house and doesn't move. Poor car, it doesn't owe me a dime though.
I'm finally writing again. And for once, I'm not disgusted by everything I write. My muse, perhaps, has finally returned. I'm totally docking his pay, the bastard.
I have yet to finish christmas shopping. Steve is killing me this year. $150 and nothing to buy him...grrr.
Thats enough for now, I have shit to write and games to play, I just want my brain back after this past semester.
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| To drive this point home... |
[17 Aug 2007|01:15am] |
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mood |
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 oh the animosity |
] |
To Colt: Look, I am going to tell you right now. If anyone has been childish, it is you. You flaunted around your girlfriend and bragged about it constantly. I understand that you hadn't been in a relationship, but doing that is ridiculous. You practically rubbed it in Jon's face saying "oh you're single? let me hug you." Secondly, you TURNED YOUR BACK ON YOUR FRIENDS! That is the cardinal sin of friendship. I don't give a damn if you are sure you are going to marry this girl, you just don't do that. However, this seems to be a TREND in this group so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. You need to take a deep breath, take a step back, and realize how childish YOU are being before you can criticize anyone else. Did you ever think to apologize for turning your back on anyone? Did you ever think that maybe Steve had a reason to be pissed at you? Everything you ever write in this emo-saturated, sob-story, soap opera script you call a journal just cries woe-is-me, and I'm sick of it. You make think STEVE is childish, but he is always there when anyone needs anything. He puts everyone else before himself. Paul was pissed because you were there and no one told him, so Steve took care of his friend that has been loyal to him all this time. So you can take your opinion and stick it because I don't give a shit.
And while I'm on this, the other person I've been dying to say something to is Brian. I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT YOU DID. You are worse than Colt in this respect. You didn't just turn your back on your friends, you completely abandoned them. And for what? A girl who can't respect the fact that you have your own friends and need your own time? That is bullshit. I can't even express how much of a dirt bag that makes you.
Both of you disappoint me. The final nail in the coffin came when Steve was in the hospital. Did either of you think that you might CALL HIM like I said to? Especially you Mazz, I told you flat out that it would mean a lot to him and you couldn't even do it. I spent every GODDAMN DAY in that hospital with him and you couldn't even dial the phone, either of you. So you know what? I really don't give a shit what either of you think of me. I'm not here to make you happy. HOWEVER, Steve is, was, and has been your friend and neither of you have been treating him like one, and I can't fucking stand the pussy, two-faced bullshit anymore. So both of you, grow some balls and take care of your shit.
BTW, Steve was not involved with this post in any way, so you can take your shit out with me.
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| omg |
[14 Aug 2007|11:36pm] |
car...CAR!!!! GOD DAMN IT!!!!
possibly a Vibe...yeah, a vibe
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| TRANSFORMERS... |
[23 Jul 2007|11:56pm] |
...was friggin phenomenal. Seriously, if you haven't seen it, go right now. I don't care if you've ever given a damn about transformers in your life...JUST. FUCKING. GO.
oh and the Harry Potter book was good too. Finished it Saturday, I know that makes me a freak but whatever. I mourn the ear, and the life of the other.
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| WOO HOO!!! |
[21 Jun 2007|04:12pm] |
Dale got a raise...a big raise. As of yesterday, I am now making $15 an hour, which is totally bitchin'. This will make my life very very easy for the rest of the summer. I can keep saving for a new(er) car and it'll add up faster, I can buy my new bike so I can start training to do long rides, and I can pay everyone back for vacation much faster (like tomorrow once I get my first bigger, better paycheck). OH and I can pay my share now when Steve and I do stuff, instead of feeling guilty all the time. Maybe I can even treat him to something more than Colonia Dairymaid.
Second order of business: my birthday is a week and a day away. I can't wait! I love the zoo and everyone is going with me (maybe even Robin and Jamie if the don't have work). Then, my dad wants to order a cake from the same place we got their anniversary cake from, which totally rocks. I'm thinking chocolate icing, a layer or chocolate cake, a layer of vanilla, and canoli filling. That will be absolute heaven, and then everyone will understand why I NEEDED to order the anniversary cake from this place. So good. I'm just happy that there will be people with me on my birthday this year. Its not gonna suck, I love my friends. Jessi is skipping school, Jimmy is calling in sick, Rachael told her boss in May that she needed the day off, Steve always has friday off...and maybe Robin and Jamie!!!
Yeah, I'm gonna stop running my mouth (or fingers) now because I'm just going on and on. But dude...life is good.
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[14 Jun 2007|12:14am] |
ELITE IS PRETTY!!!!
So far it's looking like it was totally worth the wait. The 360 looks frickin awesome in black and I will never fill this hard drive. The free HDMI cable just fucking tops it all off, especially since Halo 3 with be in 1080. YEAH BITCHES!!! You know what, I feel sorry for every poor sap who bought a 360 within the last 4 months and didn't wait for the elite release. I love my next gen. *sqeaks*
ok, next on the list, Florida was awesome. Steve loved Disney, plus Kirsten and I are quite fond of it too. This picture is for Paul.
so yeah, we found a sonic. It was pretty damn good.
I can't wait to go back to school. I love my apartment and all my crazy awesome roommates. However, summertime is money, so here I must stay.
BIRTHDAY IN 2 WEEKS AND A DAY!!! WOOHOO!!! And what do I plan to do on my 21 birthday....go to the zoo of course. Fuck alcohol, I wanna see Kitties!
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| I HATE... |
[25 Mar 2007|03:34am] |
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mood |
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grr |
] |
...people who are super emo, people who care more about themselves than their closest friends, people who lie, people who go back on their word, people who are drama queens (even if they are boys), people who think that the fact that they are dating someone means they don't need friends, people who can't even come through for a friend who is in pain, people who say things and never do anything about it, people who read this and think its an attack on them...
...I just hate people
oh yeah, if you think it is about you, then maybe you need to take a closer look at the way you run your life, because your guilty unconscious is trying to tell you something...
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| teh suckage.... |
[11 Mar 2007|11:57pm] |
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mood |
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super sad for my Stevie |
] |
I just got back from the hospital after visiting Steve. Poor baby broke his leg in tibia in 2 places and his fibula in 1 in his race today. He has surgery tomorrow and I'm just really hoping everything will be ok.... :(
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[05 Jan 2007|11:04pm] |
so i may be going back to school early to hang out with Kirsten before she leaves for DC...
...AND WHERE THE FUCK IS ALL THE SNOW!!!!
FUCK YOU DENVER!!!!
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| Scary |
[25 Dec 2006|11:52pm] |
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